Monday, March 24, 2008

"Single mothers ruining society"?

I’ve had it up to here with headlines like this: “Out-of-wedlock births are a national catastrophe” (said Slate), with their not-so-subtle subtext that, as Broadsheet put it sarcastically, “single mothers are ruining society.” I’m sick of hearing this line assumed as given fact even in liberal circles. I take this personally—that would be my mother—a fact that always startles the liberal men who spout this crap in my presence. I think they assume that single mothers are a) African American, b) teenagers, c) poor and ignorant, or d) all of the above. None of which fits my Harvard-educated mother who chose to have me at 24 (but who did briefly go on welfare after I was born).

The central argument is that because poverty is so high among single mothers, lack of marriage must be the cause of their poverty. “Some researchers identify out-of-wedlock births as the chief cause for the increasing stratification and inequality of American life, the first step that casts children into an ever more rigid caste system,” Slate’s Emily Yoffe says.

This makes me think the right headline should be, “Failure of education in basic statistical principles is a national catastrophe.” As any stats prof will tell his undergrads, correlation does not equal causation.

Here’s some pretty easy-to-come-by evidence that lack of marriage isn’t what’s causing child poverty: Sweden for over a decade has had the world’s highest rate of out-of-wedlock births—they’re now a majority of Sweden’s births—and yet one of the lowest rates of child poverty in the world. In several other Northern European countries with low child poverty rates, unwed mothers also are in the majority. France just last year joined this group.

A few other facts Yoffe and others of her ilk ignore: An American child is 79 times more likely to become a victim of child abuse than a Swedish child, although (because?) far more American children than Swedes are born within marriage. More than one third of all impoverished young children in the U.S. today live with two parents. And here's a zinger: Among African-American families, children from single-parent homes show higher educational achievement than their counterparts from two-parent homes.

And about that income stratification: It’s likely the causation goes precisely the other way. That is, because income is distributed far more unequally in the United States than in most other developed countries, it is difficult for low-wage workers (male or female) to support a family without a second income. And—duh—the shortage of affordable child care makes it difficult for single mothers to support themselves, whereas Western European nations provide publicly subsidized day care, not to mention myriad other supports to parents. The real catastrophe that we Americans should be talking about: the economic toll parenting exacts in America.

In addition to staggering ignorance of logic, the single-parenting-is-a disaster arguments always seem to me to expose a nasty cynicism about marriage. Given the lower rates of marriage among mothers in countries with rich social supports for parents, it appears it takes economic coercion, vulnerability, and shame to get a majority of mothers to marry. Apparently that’s the state marriage promoters want women to be in—that’s the kind of marriage bargain they’re for. Yuck.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello, yes I totally agree. I can't believe how our Society has changed just since I grew up in the 1970s. Our Young People are so Messed up from Single parent homes, absent fathers, welfare, mothers all working. No wonder that we have so much Illegitamate babies, drugs and Violence. We need to Wake up before its too late and Get some Morals back in the home. Women today are just so Freaking Selfish for their Careers and Hey what is more Important, Family or Career? Thanks, Carol.

Anonymous said...

I agree somewhat with what you have to say, but I believe the generation that grew up in the 80's and 90's still have a chance. I was born in the 80's and I was raised for half of my life by my single mother. She was on welfare,working 40+ hours a week and also my father was never in the picture. But I turned my life around and started going to church in my young teens. I have seen the benefits and blessings for having to take a tougher road. Learn to teach and to inspire the younger generation to follow a better example. If you believe in us,encourage us, and give us a helping hand when we need it then things could or can be better off. I dont believe single mother's are ruining society...they have just had to take some different paths to finally get on the right one. It took my mother 20 years to go to college and to start working on her career. But she waited till after I was out and on my own to start. She made sacrifices so that my life could be better off. I am so proud of her!
meg

Anonymous said...

With proper support, I honestly don't see anything wrong with a single parent's ability to raise happy, good natured, productive citizens. Granted both parents actually wanted to become parents in the first place.
It's the dissention between two parents who may or may not have wanted a child in the first place that casues a lot of society's woes. I wonder what would happen if fathers were REQUIRED by law to take full responsibility the day the baby leaves the hostpital. Mom delivers, baby automatically goes to dad and they leave. Mom has to seek out dad for all the visitation etc. Knowing this how many women would stick to their guns and go through with the pregnancy? And how many potential new dads would ever take that chance knowing they'd be forced to full accontability? If the law on unwanted pregnancies worked this way what do you think would happen to the percentages of child abuse and unwanted pregnancy? Just sayin...

Anonymous said...

Here's my idea: Since women generally have only a few weeks to decide whether they want to go through with a pregnancy, maybe men can be given the same few weeks to decide if they want to claim their rights and responsibilities as a father. If he doesn't, then there's no shame for him or the mother. And, people, schools, and politicians stop the assaults on these mothers and their children. Instead, they would be supportive, with jobs that realistically can support them, not just unencumbered men, but mothers as well, and real community, with mentorship, education and subsidies to correct our flawed economic distribution. Single-mother-led families do not suffer because of the absence of a man, but because of the presence of constant assaults and discrimination within our communities and narrowly aimed economy. With almost 50% of children in single family homes, we will only harm these children, and our future, if we continue with this unreasonable punishment.

Anonymous said...

People having children, when they are not even be self sufficient. just as if I couldn't afford to live in a one bedroom, but only a studio... I should not sign a lease for a two bedroom. If I do make the mistake, should you have to pick up part of my bill? no... I was raised by a young single mother, aided considerably by my grandparents. Mistakes happen... but after you have two kids and need support... your right to have kids is lost... just like china. heck, maybe we could sell your kids to get off of the system.